Compassionate conservative, that's like having a gun rack on a Volvo.

The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter.

In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant.

Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die.

Make your life spectacular, I know I did.

You have to break in half to love somebody.

You look at the world and see how scary it can be sometimes and still try to deal with the fear. Comedy can deal with the fear and still not paralyze you or tell you that it's going away. You say, OK, you got certain choices here, you can laugh at them and then once you've laughed at them and you have expunged the demon, now you can deal with them. That's what I do when I do my act.