There's a world out there. Open a window, and it's there.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.

Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off.

I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

2020. There'll be cold fusion. We'll actually be able to power our cars with our own feces. That's right. The emissions problem will be a little intense, but just light a match.