It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter.

I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad.

Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn't matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true.