Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.
I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."
Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.
I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster.
It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.