I got to ninth grade and there was wrestling, and I went, 'Wait a minute, this is fun.' Basically, it was a chance for a small kid like me to get a chance to wail on another small kid. I went, 'I love this.' The discipline of it was great. Plus, I really started to be good at it.

All you have to do is think one happy thought, and you'll fly like me.

A place where we all go can't be bad.

To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.

Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.