We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?

It's been a tough year. . . Someone said I should send out Buddhist thank-you cards since Buddhists believe that anything that challenges you makes you pull yourself together.

The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.