We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

The only weapon we have is comedy.