I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

I thought I was fooling people. But it's the old thing of 'they say vodka doesn't smell'. No, not until you sweat. And you just lie and lie and you think 'I can deal with this'. And then you finally go, 'No you can't'. And then you give up.

My childhood was really nice. My parents never forced me to do anything; it was always, "If you want to do that, fine." When I told my father I was going to be an actor, he said, "Fine, but study welding just in case."

You have to break in half to love somebody.