When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.
Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
The things we fear the most have already happened to us.
The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff!