What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt.

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

I love doing live action movies, but there's a great job in doing animation, especially one with music.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.