I couldn't imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, 'Hi, remember me?' And I'm going, 'No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?'

Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.

My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.