When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.

It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.'

It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.