When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.

I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, "My boy's got learnin'!"

We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums

I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!