When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You're Doing It Wrong.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you - when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead.

I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.