Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on.

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.

It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...