Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Make your life spectacular, I know I did.