Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed them

The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Even mistakes can be wonderful.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster.