The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad.

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.