Just now when I said, "I have a crush on you," you didn't say, "no way loser". I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.
I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it.
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother