You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no, actually if you take a break people might be more interested in you.

There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People--they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you.

Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You're Doing It Wrong.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp