Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

Incoming is not the thing you want to hear at Christmas.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.