My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.

Never go to Pluto, it's a Mickey Mouse planet.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.

Incoming is not the thing you want to hear at Christmas.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

I feel like I'm a big human snot.