I love being backstage, or doing littler things like Blame Canada.

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

Compassionate conservative, that's like having a gun rack on a Volvo.