Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone.

I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

I thought I was fooling people. But it's the old thing of 'they say vodka doesn't smell'. No, not until you sweat. And you just lie and lie and you think 'I can deal with this'. And then you finally go, 'No you can't'. And then you give up.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.