Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.

I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill.

I prefer to be handcuffed at home. The idea of voice work to me is great fun, especially when it's a chance to do two different voices.