I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.

They call me Tater Salad

I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.