You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep talking. I can't imagine a life without doing standup.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.

Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks