And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.

The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!

It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.

I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things - like room service and temperature control.

My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.

I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'