It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.

I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.