Ever since I was a girl, I have written about one to five pages every day - on napkins, on scrap paper, in notebooks and tablets, on the walls in my room as a teenager, and in orange paint on the cheap white plastic blinds in my room.

Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it.

I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.

I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.

We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.

They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!