Ever since I was a girl, I have written about one to five pages every day - on napkins, on scrap paper, in notebooks and tablets, on the walls in my room as a teenager, and in orange paint on the cheap white plastic blinds in my room.

My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.

My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.

Laugh every day as much as you can.

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.