I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.

politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.

Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.

I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.

You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.