There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.

To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian.

Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.

The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.