Nannies love working in our house because they never know who's gonna walk through the door.
How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except the brain?
College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.
I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.