[With depression] you get a real sense of shame, because your friends go, 'Oh come on, show me the lump, show me the x-rays,' and of course you've got nothing to show.

I always ask the booksellers to look at me and recommend a book; 9 out of 10, they get it right; it’s usually a book about someone dysfunctional. To me bookstores are like brothels of imagination, each book is luring me over going, 'Read me, read me'.

By the time dessert arrives I am usually so drunk, I can't remember what I'm serving.

You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.

My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'.