From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers.

So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.'

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!