Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers.

When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

I've never said flange to a monkey!

What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!