Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

I've never said flange to a monkey!

What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!