Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade

Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."