Golf course architects make me sick. They can't play themselves, so they rig the courses so nobody else can play either.
When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.
Golf got complicated when I had to wear shoes and begin thinking about what I was doing.
What abandoned course is that?
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
Most people who play golf have one big trouble: they think too much. To get any real mileage out of this game you've got to sit on your imagination.