When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.
The only place that's holier than St. Andrews is Westminster Abbey.
What abandoned course is that?
Golf course architects make me sick. They can't play themselves, so they rig the courses so nobody else can play either.
The three things I fear most in golf are lightning, Ben Hogan and a downhill putt.
Golf got complicated when I had to wear shoes and begin thinking about what I was doing.