Letters are like wine; if they are sound they ripen with keeping. A man should lay down letters as he does a cellar of wine.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

Money is the last enemy that shall never be subdued. While there is flesh there is money or the want of money, but money is always on the brain so long as there is a brain in reasonable order.

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.

In the midst of vice we are in virtue, and vice versa.

Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning.