I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know... because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years... but younger black women are prostitutes.

I love going to weddings. And I love it when my friends get married. I'm not against marriage but it's just not for me. I'm a vegetarian, but I don't have a problem if you want a hamburger.

I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.