Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because you're afraid of the unknown.

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.