I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.

Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.

Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert.

I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.

All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.

I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.