You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know... because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years... but younger black women are prostitutes.

When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.

I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world.

I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.