You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.

I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world.

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.