Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know... because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years... but younger black women are prostitutes.

Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

In the big picture, life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it.

Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.

When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by.

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.