Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.