Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.

Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.