Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.

When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.

It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.