Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.