While someone can attempt to shame you, shame must also be accepted to be effective. We can't make you feel shame without your participation.
SethIf you'd rather be a chooser, enter a market or a transaction where you have something to trade, something of value, something to offer that's difficult to get everywhere else. If all you have is the desire to get picked, that's not sufficient.
SethIt is very important that you express your idealism actively, to what ever extent you can, for this increases your sense of worth and power.
Seth