If they want to play football, we can play football.

I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard.

I just want everyone to know I'm suing Ruben Studdard. He had his hand on my ass and he wouldn't let go.

I'm playing like Eric Dampier.

In this millennium that we live in, the 'Hack-a-Shaq'has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn't work - not at all.

I was like, 'Huh? You want my jersey?'

I told my wife the other day, I'm the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.