(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can't stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I think it would be a boring game if everybody was the same, just like it would be boring if you guys asked the same dumb questions.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don't finish the date - you know what I mean?

Let's put it in old movie Mafia terms. There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn't wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power. For example, Sonny Corleone went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, 'You know what dude, I'm a star.' That's what I'm doing now, and that's what I was trying to do with what's-his-name.

Finally, I have someone that's like me. My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on.

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

I want to be strong, dominant. Like Wilt Chamberlain.