I swear if that's a pair of demon horns digging into my belly and stabbing me right now, Ash, I'm going to beat you after it's born." 'Cause face it, horns on the head didn't come from my side of the family or genetic code.

One of you guys is going to have to feed the vampiric lawyer some blood and it can’t be me. (Caleb) Why? You afraid of a little bite? I’m anemic. (Nick) And I’m Catholic. Doesn’t that knock me out of the running? (Nick)

Yeah, but I don’t want to be in pain, and I definitely don’t want to suffer.” – Nick “Well…The only way to avoid them is to die.” – Death “Okay, let’s change the topic now. Oh, look! A chicken.” – Nick

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes

Have you been drinking this morning? How did you miss me? I swear I’ve fought old women with better reflexes. (Takeshi) The fact you fight old women tells me just how rusty you’ve become. What? Your ego needed the boost and they were the only ones you could find you could beat? (Savitar)

If I’m not back in a few hours…well, I don’t want to think about that. I might change my mind about doing this. I’m thinking happy thoughts. Creamed dog innards and rotten steak. Yeah. Yum! (Asmodeus)

Because people learn from their mistakes, Danger. Pain and failure are a natural part of life. It's kind of like a parent who watches their child fall down while learning to walk. Instead of coddling the child, you set them back on their feet and let them try again. They have to stumble before they can run. (Alexion) Do you really believe that we need to have our hearts ripped out? (Danger) A flower can't grow without rain. (Alexion) Too much rain and it drowns. (Danger) And yet the most beautiful of the lotus flowers are the ones that grow in the deepest mud. (Alexion)