Daddy had a farm - cows, pigs, OK, a big garden, OK? We did live off the land, and then we would supplement all that with whatever we could kill or catch. Whether we'd kill squirrels, deer, duck, or caught catfish or brim, that was what went on the table.

Everybody when they saw it, they said, "Did Willie Nelson sign your hat?" I'd say, "No, that'd be Willie Knucklehead - Robertson, OK?" We were at an event for the fans and I took my hat off and set it down on the couch, and he signed it. I said, "What are you doing, idiot?" He said, "Look, I was in the zone, and you just happened to put your hat in my zone."

I messed up on the Vietnam Special, because I gave it to civilians? Only military men can handle that.

God has taken four guys that look like five miles of muddy road and made them famous in the TV world.

When security comes, every man for himself

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.