I don't know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the doctor and the doctors says, 'Hey, you've got less than two months to live and there's nothing we can do for you.' Who do they turn to when you're given something that earth shattering?

I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.

Nap time would become a national pastime. A man needs his beauty rest!

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

When I go out or to an event, I'll wear blue jeans and a shirt. And sometimes when I go to an event I'll wear camouflage. It depends what kind of mood I'm in.

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!