All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.

You can't teach an old dog new dog new tricks. Now,you can give an old dog new toys. And we've got one here!

We are the rags to riches story okay the Robertson's are. Okay? We had very humble beginnings. Everybody's trying to figure out what, what's behind it, and all the Robertsons say, 'hey, it's divine intervention.' Me personally okay, God's gonna take "Duck Dynasty" where he wants it to go okay and to the people that he wants it to go to.

Everybody when they saw it, they said, "Did Willie Nelson sign your hat?" I'd say, "No, that'd be Willie Knucklehead - Robertson, OK?" We were at an event for the fans and I took my hat off and set it down on the couch, and he signed it. I said, "What are you doing, idiot?" He said, "Look, I was in the zone, and you just happened to put your hat in my zone."

God has taken four guys that look like five miles of muddy road and made them famous in the TV world.

When I sign people's stuff I put down John 3:16 and 17. Most people can tell you what 16 says, OK. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son." But they don't know nothin' about 17. It says Jesus didn't come to condemn us. If anybody had a right to condemn someone, it would be the son of God. If he didn't do it, then hey, we definitely are not qualified to do it.

I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.